Newton Apples Marketing Waffle!
As we all know marketing material traditionally contains much that is
simply not true, seductive imagery is used to convey a sense that a
product will bestow upon the user universal wellbeing, deep joy and
satisfaction and the adoration of those they would be adored by.
In the case of Newton Apples owning and then consuming the product
will bestow upon the user a feeling of devine celestial wellbeing, deep joy and
satisfaction and the adoration of those you would be adored by
(especially if you share).
Newton Apples are hand crafted in Cambridge by people with PhDs.
Untrue Facts
Newton Apples are the worlds cleverest chocolates, tasting them will
increase your ability to think and appreciate mathematics.
Newton has a hand in the design of Mathematical Bridge, figured on our
logo. Newtons calculus (or fluctions) and second law of motion point
out reasons for the importance of tangents.
Newton liked salted apple caramel and would request it to take alongside
his port after dinner while writing the Principia.
Last modified: Sat Sep 6 19:32:55 BST 2014